Last night I had a dream where I regressed back to a memory I had when I was 13 years old in school. This was by far the ‘craziest’ dream experience I’ve ever had due to the fact it felt so real that I wasn’t even aware that I was in a dream…I’d actually regressed myself back to the original memory (but it was obviously being interpreted). In this dream I was in an actual classroom that I was taught in when I was in school. Everything was exactly how I remembered it to be (8 years ago.) The dream was switching from me being my 13 year old self to me being my 13 year old self but having the mind set that I do now.
Recently I’ve been wondering why I was so unfocused and sarcastic in school. Despite the fact I’m very aware that I went to pretty bad schools this dream showed my why. In my dream it was showing me that I was an outsider looking in. I was sitting on one side of the classroom on my own and was observing the emotionless faces of everyone else. I was the only one observing and I remember observing like that when I was in school but I was too young to understand it back then.
There was a teacher in the middle of the room (this wasn’t the teacher I had back then) who said to the class, “This curriculum does not teach you who you are, you are way beyond all of this.”
Then I shouted, “THE SPIRIT!”
The teacher then walked over to the board and explained this, “Don’t listen to what they teach you. They tell you how to think and feel.”
Then I shouted, “YOU ARE BEING BRAINWASHED.”
After that I heard a few laughs. There were a couple of girls who were looking at me and gossiping about me. I put my head down and didn’t dare defend myself. The teacher turned and said to me, “You can’t let people bring you down in life.”
My 13 year old self put her head up and smiled because she hadn’t been told that before. I was looking around the classroom and at the teacher, just looking and looking and looking. I then thought to myself, “Is this a dream or am I awake? It feels too real to be a dream…”
I then started telling myself to wake up and was pinching myself but I didn’t wake up when I did that. So I pinched myself again and again and I finally woke up. When I awoke I understood that when I was in school I was always an outsider looking in and how I acted was a reflection of that. Because I didn’t have the language to articulate what I was observing I became unmotivated. I was too young to understand. I realise now that this was my path all along.
As i walked in my bathroom and approached the sink I noticed that there was a small bug that was stuck and anxiously trying to get out. I could see that it was struggling as the sink was exceptionally slippery so i had two options; turn the tap on and proceed with what I was doing or help the bug escape and change its destiny. I decided to opt for the latter so i got a tube of toothpaste and the bug crawled on it, I then set it free out the window. A few questions sprang to mind when I set it free, was it a synchronicity that I went in my bathroom at that time and noticed the bug before someone else saw it and would of possibly turned on the tap without noticing? Did I change that bug’s reality or was it supposed to die? Would it of escaped on its own? I know this bug didn’t have creative consciousness and will only ever be able to be a bug and not creatively express itself but it still has a lens on its face and it is still experiencing a trip too. Couldn’t you compare a situation like this to your life? If you meet someone spontaneously or someone saves your life that’s a synchronicity that was supposed to happen. There are no mistakes in life.
In life you have to come to the realisation that what people can’t give to you, you can give to you. What people can’t prove to you, you can prove to you. What people can’t validate for you, you can validate for you. You have to be proud of who you are and all you have achieved for you are here now, what is more beautiful than that?
Nobody can give you your true self. Only you can understand this consciousness through your eyes. Your journey is your journey that you have to take. Other people are just mirrors for your evolvement. Embrace this paradox and realise that the more you give to yourself the more peace you will feel deep within.
But the peace within will always be hindered when you refuse to believe that people can’t give you more than what you can. When I observe the streets I see such sadness in the eyes of most. I see that their peace within isn’t acknowledged because they are unaware that it already exists within them. There is already peace in your world you only have to go deep inside your real self.
When people judge you, they are judging themselves. When people are hating you, they are hating themselves. When people are ignoring you they are ignoring their real selves. For you are just a mirror of them. You are them and they are you. So you have to come to the realisation that what people can’t give to you, you can give to you. When you do this, you will find peace within.
Which is worth more, a crowd of thousands,
or your own genuine solitude?
Freedom, or power over an entire nation?
A little while alone in your room
will prove more valuable than anything else
that could ever be given you.
From my observations, people in society are constantly competing with eachother. We are taught to compete in school from a very young age so a lot of us feel like we aren’t good enough in certain situations and past thought patterns surface and comparisons are made. But never feel inferior! We all have the same potential as human beings it’s just that a lot of people don’t realise how powerful they really are. They look at their life situation- their job, their home, their experiences and they doubt that their life has the same value as someone who has more money or more things. This type of thinking is very flawed and YET it is encouraged on a daily basis. Social networking also encourages people to compete and now there is even a new study idicating that Facebook causes a high amount of depression because of the shit brained comparisons that are made.
But in this whole process- the comparison, the competing, the inferiority, we are still forgetting that we are all human beings experiencing the same thing through our senses. Someone could be in a slum in India and someone could be climbing a beautiful mountain in Iceland and yet both people are capable of feeling the same emotions and are still on the same planet as eachother. And the problem is that very few look inward for the answers. Very few aim for love or compassion. We are all granted unique and wonderful experiences in life whether they are positive or negative and therefore we should never compare our lives to anyone. This is my path and this is your path. And what’s real, what’s really real is you and your journey!
Last night i had a very significant lucid dream/false awakening.
The lucid dream…
I was walking around a dull school building, exploring it whilst also feeling trapped. There were other people walking around too (people that i know). The school was representing ‘The university of life’. I was then confronted by an angry teacher, i have no recollection of what he said all i can remember was his angry tone of voice. Suddenly, i walked out of two big wooden doors and approached a beautiful garden. I had graduated! And i was jumping with joy and confidence whilst i walked through this oriental style garden. I was surrounded by tigers that were looking at me.
This dream was telling me that once i learn the crucial lessons in my waking life that are currently being presented to me i will then gain self-power and exuberate in my personal and spiritual growth. Once these lessons are learnt i will be free within myself and achieve great things.
Then came the false awakening…
This bit was rather intense. I thought i had already woken up. I was in my living room showing my sister what just happened in my dream. I was getting memories of falling asleep and being given messages whilst i was asleep. I told her that i sleep walked and created all these images. I had a big handful of images and i was going through every one. These were clear messages from my unconscious. It was an information overload and i really can’t remember that much. The images were so vivid. From what i do remember there were sketched pictures saying ‘good health’, ‘karmic life’, ‘change thought patterns’ and a sketched picture of me with ‘my beautiful girl’ written on it which i was told was a message from someone else. I then woke up in my bed really confused because i thought i had already woken up!